Megan (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} blimibash) wrote,@ 2007-06-09 14:18:00 |
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Still Alive
So obviously I'm still around, don't know for how long because eventually I will give up. But my mother and I talked the night before he came, and both of us were in tears. So he comes, brings all his shit in, moves all our stuff around, puts some of our stuff God knows where and replaces it with his. The place stinks like him, he drowns himself in Axe so the everything smells like it, and it chokes you. The idiot has ever window open and every curtain open so everyone can see in. He left them open at night too, which you can do in this neighborhood. The other day my mom and I came home and found one of the screens pushed up on the outside, like someone had thought the window was open and was trying to get in. I'm only getting about 6 hours of sleep a day (12 am - 6 am), since he's such a loudmouth, that I can't go to bed until he does, and I have to wake up when he does. From my bed to the couch isn't that far so he keeps me up. The stupid fuck leaves for a couple hours a day, then he comes back and either just sits around, messes with his computer (or mine, he put paper and ink in my schools printer the other day), or screws with the place more.
I don't know what the fuck he's doing now, he's going back and forth in between rooms, using some power tool, I know it has to do with the internet because it's not on right now, he's turned it off or something. Did he ask if he could do this? No. This isn't his place, he doesn't live here, and I'm getting really sick of him messing with everything. My mom is too because the other day they got into an arguement because he wanted to bring his big screen tv in here, but there isn't room, and he said there would be if he moved some stuff and she said no. Six days I have tolerated this crap. He's supposed to be out looking for a job, but no lazy ass does shit around here that no one asked or wants him to do.
I'll describe him for you, fat with a pot belly, thinning blondish hair, gay girly voice. When he's talking he says "okay" and "so" about 50 times. We all got things we say a lot, like I can't barely write a sentence without "though" in it, but I don't like him so it really annoys me. Like I said my mom's getting pissed at him too (she went to Planned Parenthood to get her shot, and they wouldn't give her it because he blood pressure was too high, like stroke kind of high), and he is a little with her. Yesterday he was talking on the phone about her when she was out and he thought I was asleep. He was like "well, you see the thing is (that's another thing he likes to say) I wanted to put my tv in here and she said there wasn't any room, and I offered to move some stuff around and she got angry, so I said fine and took the television to storage". He thinks he's punishing her by taking his precious big screen tv away, the cable doesn't even work in here anyway, who cares? Then he said he brought some alcohol with him from AZ and there's only an inch left of it now and "I can't afford to be buying that stuff just to have her drink it all". So of course when my mom came home I reported to her what he said. He was going to say something else, but it must have been really a doosy because he started to talk and then said "hold on" and went outside so I couldn't hear. I've known this guy since I was 5 years old, and I'm going to be 17 next month.
Him and my mom have been on and off for almost 12 years now, and that involved me being dragged back and forth in between states (Pennsylvania and Arizona) during the school year. Except the one time when my mother just went off to Arizona and left me in Pittsburgh with my great aunt Cynthia. I didn't see her again for 6 months maybe.
5 - kindergarten: Pittsburgh
6 - first grade: Phoenix
6 - first grade: Pittsburgh
7 - second grade: Pittsburgh
7 - second grade: Phoenix
8 - third grade: Pittsburgh
9 - fourth grade: Phoenix
From 9-15 (?) I stayed in Arizona, but we moved from apartment to apartment. I have lived in at least one new home every year. Since after 9th grade, it's been more than that though. Since then I've moved at least 20 times. It's in me to be depressed because it runs in the family, but all of this has not helped. I became OCD and extremely paranoid. I can't trust anyone, which is one of the reasons during and after 4th grade it has become increasingly difficult to make friends. I haven't made any new friends in the real world (not online) since the 6th grade, and I'm in 11th grade going into 12th now.
So I don't have any immediate plans to kill myself right now (though I might someone else, lol) I probably will eventually though. But at the moment, though I'm a stressed and annoyed, I'm in a "go with the flow" kinda mood. In spite of everything, I'm rather calm (if you can be calm and stressed at the same time).
So obviously I'm still around, don't know for how long because eventually I will give up. But my mother and I talked the night before he came, and both of us were in tears. So he comes, brings all his shit in, moves all our stuff around, puts some of our stuff God knows where and replaces it with his. The place stinks like him, he drowns himself in Axe so the everything smells like it, and it chokes you. The idiot has ever window open and every curtain open so everyone can see in. He left them open at night too, which you can do in this neighborhood. The other day my mom and I came home and found one of the screens pushed up on the outside, like someone had thought the window was open and was trying to get in. I'm only getting about 6 hours of sleep a day (12 am - 6 am), since he's such a loudmouth, that I can't go to bed until he does, and I have to wake up when he does. From my bed to the couch isn't that far so he keeps me up. The stupid fuck leaves for a couple hours a day, then he comes back and either just sits around, messes with his computer (or mine, he put paper and ink in my schools printer the other day), or screws with the place more.
I don't know what the fuck he's doing now, he's going back and forth in between rooms, using some power tool, I know it has to do with the internet because it's not on right now, he's turned it off or something. Did he ask if he could do this? No. This isn't his place, he doesn't live here, and I'm getting really sick of him messing with everything. My mom is too because the other day they got into an arguement because he wanted to bring his big screen tv in here, but there isn't room, and he said there would be if he moved some stuff and she said no. Six days I have tolerated this crap. He's supposed to be out looking for a job, but no lazy ass does shit around here that no one asked or wants him to do.
I'll describe him for you, fat with a pot belly, thinning blondish hair, gay girly voice. When he's talking he says "okay" and "so" about 50 times. We all got things we say a lot, like I can't barely write a sentence without "though" in it, but I don't like him so it really annoys me. Like I said my mom's getting pissed at him too (she went to Planned Parenthood to get her shot, and they wouldn't give her it because he blood pressure was too high, like stroke kind of high), and he is a little with her. Yesterday he was talking on the phone about her when she was out and he thought I was asleep. He was like "well, you see the thing is (that's another thing he likes to say) I wanted to put my tv in here and she said there wasn't any room, and I offered to move some stuff around and she got angry, so I said fine and took the television to storage". He thinks he's punishing her by taking his precious big screen tv away, the cable doesn't even work in here anyway, who cares? Then he said he brought some alcohol with him from AZ and there's only an inch left of it now and "I can't afford to be buying that stuff just to have her drink it all". So of course when my mom came home I reported to her what he said. He was going to say something else, but it must have been really a doosy because he started to talk and then said "hold on" and went outside so I couldn't hear. I've known this guy since I was 5 years old, and I'm going to be 17 next month.
Him and my mom have been on and off for almost 12 years now, and that involved me being dragged back and forth in between states (Pennsylvania and Arizona) during the school year. Except the one time when my mother just went off to Arizona and left me in Pittsburgh with my great aunt Cynthia. I didn't see her again for 6 months maybe.
5 - kindergarten: Pittsburgh
6 - first grade: Phoenix
6 - first grade: Pittsburgh
7 - second grade: Pittsburgh
7 - second grade: Phoenix
8 - third grade: Pittsburgh
9 - fourth grade: Phoenix
From 9-15 (?) I stayed in Arizona, but we moved from apartment to apartment. I have lived in at least one new home every year. Since after 9th grade, it's been more than that though. Since then I've moved at least 20 times. It's in me to be depressed because it runs in the family, but all of this has not helped. I became OCD and extremely paranoid. I can't trust anyone, which is one of the reasons during and after 4th grade it has become increasingly difficult to make friends. I haven't made any new friends in the real world (not online) since the 6th grade, and I'm in 11th grade going into 12th now.
So I don't have any immediate plans to kill myself right now (though I might someone else, lol) I probably will eventually though. But at the moment, though I'm a stressed and annoyed, I'm in a "go with the flow" kinda mood. In spite of everything, I'm rather calm (if you can be calm and stressed at the same time).
